This first trimester has been a bumpy ride. When I discovered this situation, I was frightened and filled with anxiety. I did not sleep for the first time in my life a whole 24hrs. How could this happen? why wasn't I paying attention? why me?!, why now?!....I screamed in horror, my heart started beating rapidly, my eyes wide open, I started chanting, Jesus Christ (not taking His name in vain kind of way) in a help me, what should I do kind of way. I started to pray for help and could not stop. My mother thought I was on the verge of loosing my mind. I didn't sleep a wink, I went to work and came home and was somehow able to function. I guess it was the adrenalin from my heart pumping so rapidly all night.
I went to work and functioned as if nothing was wrong, but I felt like my eyes were in a constant state of popping, staring and gazing manner.
The next few days all kinds of thoughts came into my mind, and I know that the Lord would not be pleased if I made any of those decisions. I was confused and wanted an easy way out. But because I deeply want to be saved and I desperately want to make it to heaven I could not oblige or entertain for too long the thoughts that wanted to consume me. I did not eat for almost a week as I had no appetite. I realized this is a spiritual battler for my soul and I needed to FIGHT. I began to cry out to God and pray in surrender. I began to beg God for help and mercy. I made a vow to God and asked him to give me peace because I claim his promises of deliverance, protection, His love etc. I started repeating verses of scripture verses of the same.
I immediately let go and I am at peace. I know that God will deliver me and vindicate for me. The next several months of this pregnancy are going to be favored with God on my side.
This pregnancy is not one of a human life that I am carrying, but one of circumstance. God is going to deliver though me a mighty Testimony of is Wonder Working Power.
I will continue taking my daily pre-natal vitamins of Faith so that this delivery will be a healthy testimony of praise to the Only Wise God, Creator of All living things.
I am currently on a "vitamin" regimine of:
Faith: "Faith is that strength, that secret weapon of the soul, which allows us to persevere even when the facts seem daming and the trugh unbearable." TD Jakes
Believe: "It doesn't matter what it looks like in the natural. [I] serve a supernatural God." Joel Osteen
Praise: "[My] praise should outweigh [my] petitions. Don't spen all [my] time telling God [my] problems. Take time to thank Him." Joel Osteen
Declaration: "[My] story ends in victory. [My] final chapter concludes with [me] fulfilling my God-given destiny." Joel Osteen
Because of the high risk nature of this pregnancy I see my Doctor, Jesus daily. We have a tight bond and I intend to keep that bond even tighter after delivery.