Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Bruised Heart_Follow Up

Several months ago I did a post entitled, A Bruised Heart.  Since then, the 'admired one' traveled to the homeland over the summer, got married to his soul mate and has since brought his wife here to the States.  I discovered all of this from being nosy on 'social network'.

I would say about two/three months ago, I received an unexpected text message from him saying...My Friend, I just thought about you and wanted to say hello, hope you and your mom are doing well. Take care.   I read the message several times in disbelief and anger.  Why would you refer to me as your friend when you didn't even tell me of such an important occasion that was taking place in your life?????  I also discovered, on 'social network', that his mother passed away.  I met his mom and interacted with her on several occasions and don't understand why he wouldn't reach out to let his "Friend" know such a tragic thing took place in his life. Anyway, I quickly deleted this message so that I would not be tempted to respond.

Since the text message, I've had missed calls register on my phone from him and another most recent one yesterday.  I am aware that his bride is here and I think he is trying to connect with me so that perhaps myself and his wife can become friends and help her assimilate?  I don't know his motive, but I will say that the individuals he should consider friends are those who knew he was getting married and who he esteemed enough to let them know about his mom passing and any other important thing taking place in his life. 

The reality for me is that while I liked admired him deeply and was drawn to his self motivated, intelligent, ambitious, handsome characteristics, things would not work out for us due to major differences in culture, religion(we are both Christians but of different persuasions), family dynamics etc.  I know that he is a Christian and I know without a doubt that he fasted and prayed and sought counsel from his most trusted sources when the decision came to choose a wife.  I believe he made the best decision for himself.  I don't however want to be labeled as a friend for reasons of convenience.  Am I overreacting?


  1. i don't think you're overreacting. it is very frustrated when a person wants to be friends or contact you when is is convenient for them or when they need something. that isn't a true friend.

    a true friend will contact you for no reason at all. contact you just to say hello. contact you to give you a life update whether the news is good or bad.

    so i don't think you're overreacting at all.

    good for you for deleting his message :)

  2. HUGS....I think the past should stay in the past so you can move on properly in a healthy way...

  3. This guys has 2 livers… You need to keep him where he belongs, in the past. Don’t let him confuse you.


Your Thoughts