Friday, August 19, 2011

Choices and Love

I enjoy watching nature documentaries about animals.  I'm not sure why this is so intriguing to me but I always look forward to watching them on PBS and animal planet.  One thing I've always admired is how female animals and birds are so careful about who they allow to mate with them. 

The male species would always have to prove themselves via strength and or display then the female would in most cases decide whether or not they would allow this male to mate with them for offspring.

I always wonder how much thought and consideration humans take in account with regards to offspring when choosing a mate.  The thought and consideration I am referencing is not necessarily about looks as much as character traits which are usually expressed through this males life choices.

I consider that Adam and Eve were created perfect and lived in a perfect environment but their bad choices holds consequences to all generations after who were born in sin and shapen in iniquity thus we all have the natural tendency to sin because of our forefathers who were made perfect but their choices have passed down consequences to us.

My point is that it appears that our bad choices (lying/deception, laziness, high mindedness, manipulation, gossiping,  fornication/adultery, hypocrisy etc, etc.)  will have some genetically/spiritually infused consequences passed on to our children.   In Exodus 20:5-6 says For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,  but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

I strive daily to love the Lord not only via 'lip service' but through my choices.  That does not mean that I am perfect as I slip up sometimes but I believe that having a mind to truly Love God though our choices He will show mercy to me and to those who are purposeful in keeping his commands and this mercy will extend though our generations.

Some say the ten commandments were for the old testament times and we are no longer required to adhere to them and instead pointing to the new testament Matthew 22:39 which states
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’[d] 38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’[e]
40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

I highlighted verse 40 which points back to the ten commands in Exodus 20:1-17. The first  five commands in Exodus 20:1-17 outlines how we demonstrate our love for God and the last 5 commands illustrate how we show love to our neighbors.

John 14:15 says:  “If you love Me, keep My commandments.

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Bruised Heart

I have so much admiration for bloggers who share personal experiences of hurt and pain because it really takes a lot of courage to share your heart.  I am going to make myself vulnerable today and share a deep hurt and the realizations/revelations I got from it. 

I really really like this young man that I've known for about 6 years now.  He is handsome, ambitious and loves the Lord.  I have met his family (an intentional action by him).  One day several years ago he asked that I come and meet his father. I've attended his place of worship by invitation several times and have been introduced to his friends.  I was invited to and attended his graduations etc. But while these actions would seem as if he likes me in actuality I'm confused and really don't think he does. 

He rarely calls me or texts me and I attribute excuse this to his school schedule as he is currently in a rigorous PhD medical program.  I reach out to him most times (once every other month) to say hi and briefly chit chat.  He doesn't/hasn't tried to  "toast me".  on the rare occasions that I send him a text message just saying hi and how are you his responses are brief.  Well over the weekend I sent a text asking if he was OK since I haven't heard from him all summer (except once when he sent me a text asking how I was doing) and I knew he would be returning to school.  He said he was OK and that he returned to school the day prior. No elaboration just dry, he didn't even make time to stop by and see me or suggest that we have lunch/dinner before he leaves. 

I was a bit crushed as I really like ' admire' this guy.  Any way the Holy Spirit spoke to me so profoundly as I reflected over my life on various disappointments, for example not getting the job that I wanted at a particular time, not getting house I wanted, but when I look back, I thank God because HE had something better in store for me for all these instances and more.  I am in the best job and organization that I could ever dream of;  The house I live in is so much nicer than the one I previously thought I had to have.  so many more examples. 

I pray that I will be patient and allow God to orchestrate and dictate my future as I know He has the best in store for me.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


It's been quite a number of years since I've worn my hair completely natural, probably about 4 or 5 years now. However I remember just prior to going natural that each time I was getting relaxers, I started getting this conviction and ill feeling about altering the state of my hair that God gave me.  This was not due to any external pressure as 4 or 5 years ago in my location there were not a lot of people talking about or going natural so I was not being "brain washed" by any external influences.  So this inner guilt kept getting stronger and stronger until one day after taking braids out of my relaxed hair I had it cut off to the new growth length.  That is how I started to embrace the hair God gave me. 

I wear it out in what I describe as a poof with a scarf wrapped around most of the time.  To be totally honest, I am proud of my hair and who I am.  BUT, I am really considering perming again.  I don't know when but I know soon.  I am ready for another change and can always start all over again with natural hair when I'm ready.