Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I Refuse

I apologize  for a post that I recently withdrew.  If it showed up on your dashboard Titled  "Unfolding" and then when you clicked on it you didn't see the post I'm sorry.

I decided to wait and share the the before and after story in a little more context. Basically, I was asked out on a lunch date and I was excited to see what would unfold and decided to share the expereince after the date.

Several months ago I noticed this Tall, Dark, Handsome and Friendly young man at my work place that also had an accent.  Whenever our paths crossed he always made an effort for small talk and we would exchange pleasantries and friendly greetings.

Over a period of time, he got to know my name and I learned his. where we both originate from, and a little more than the surface chit chat.  Eventually he asked for my number. I didn't hear from him or see him for a while after that.  Around New Years eve I saw a call come through from an unfamiliar number so I did not answer. No message was left.  Several days later I got a text message from the same number...."Good Morning" so I responded in kind and explained that I did not have the number saved in my phone and requested to know who this was.  He identified himself and I pretty much said ...."Oh Okay."

I wasn't too engaging because while I was happy to finally hear from him I was a little put off because it took too long for him to make contact.  Any way, several days later he asked if I was at work (through text) and where he could find me. I responded and said "I'm hiding in God's heart, when you find God you will find me."   I'm sure he was stunned because it took him a while to respond and when he did it was with a :-).

Any way, he eventually sent me another message and said he wanted to see me and lets have lunch.  I  accepted and we went out for lunch.

He was a gentleman and we had a comfortable conversation like good friends. There were however several obvious red flags that signaled to me during our conversation. First, I heard the bad F word a couple times. I was thrown back and immediately let him know that my ears are sensitive and he could tell from my expression that I was uncomfortable with that.  He was surprised and asked If I didn't curse. 

Second, I also noticed that most of the information he shared with me about himself when we initially started exchanging chit chat were totally different this time around.  I didn't say anything or try to get clarification because I like to listen and analyze.  basically my conclusion is if you are a liar you are a liar and liar's can hardly keep their story the same each time.

Third, we are not on the same level intellectually or spiritually.

Though we had a relatively pleasant lunch date, I knew before leaving that he is not my kind of man and I wasn't interested and somehow he didn't appear AS handsome as he looked before after getting to know more about him. We are on different spectrums on various things, some of which are too much to mention in this already long post.

With all that said, I saw him a couple times since then and we were pleasant with greetings as usual.  And in my mind I'm like, mmmm he is so handsome then I have to remind myself of my convictions that he is not the one for me. 

I refuse to compromise on areas of compatibility; God's man for me WILL be spiritually connected and intellectually affected.

I refuse to be blinded by looks; Looks are deceiving. God's man for me is Beautiful inside and out.

I refuse to settle for less than what God has for me; God promised to supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.  God also promised to prosper me in all things including the Man that will honor God and me and I will honor him as well.

I refuse to succum to temptation like Eve, knowing what God told her not to do but was decived by charming talk and looks.

 I refuse, I refuse...In the Name of Jesus I refuse.


  1. Amen hun! God's very BEST will soon come.. No room for compromise by God's grace.. xxxx

    1. God Bless you! I agree that God's very Best will SOON come :-). I rebuke all compromising spirit that want's to present itself.

      I appreciate you Sis!!

  2. First of all, Happy New Year!
    Secondly, you did not even need to state the spiritual part in # 3. By the time I saw "F-word" I just concluded o. By their fruit abi ...

    Meeting the right person is a process and it looks like you're already on your way there. Thank God for wisdom and discernment to notice the red flags and back out. Some sisters would have noticed the same things and decide they will be the ones to change the man. I prefer your approach.

    1. Happy New Year and Welcome!! By their fruits/spirit indeed you will know (If you want to know). Knowledge is power and as we mature in Chirst you realize that you need to search beyon the surface.

      I'm still thankfull for this experirence because I will appreciate God's gift (my Man) more. The package will be perfect for me.

  3. I am glad you are not compromising. Hold on to your conviction. Mr. Right will surely come.

    Happy New Year

    1. Thank you Sykik. By God's grace I'm holding on.

  4. You are a beautiful person! Absolutely love this post!

    And it is so true, a person can appear so beautiful the first time you meet them and when you get to know the person inside sometimes the beauty is no longer there.

    I am glad that you are not compromising! You deserve exactly what God has in store and planned for you.

    1. Thank you Faith. May God continue to give me strength to stand firm.

  5. Wow it is so heart warming to read a post like this and know that you have the courage to say no and not compromise on what God has in store for you. Keep trusting God...the right man will show up because God makes all things beautiful in its time. I know what its like coz I waited for Mr Right for a loooooong time can read about it in this post Becoming Mrs Right

    1. Gospel Girl, it's not easy but it is so worth waiting on God. I don't want no counterfeit, I want and deserve the real deal :-).

      It's encouraging to hear from you first hand that you waited for your Mr. Right for a long time......The punch line for me is he eventually came and that brings me hope. I'll check out your post.

      Thanks for sharing. God bless you!!

  6. Oh higly favoured, thank you so much for sharing this.
    I guess the spirit is one, no matter how handsome a man is, I listen out for his words, attitude and mannerisms when we talk. Most times, from these things, I already know that he isnt the one(thank God for growth).
    I know from God's word that we can wait patiently for God to act and yes, He will indeed act.
    I refuse to settle for what my own eyes can see too, I refuse, I refuse, I refuse...and for everyone of us, it is my desire that we hold strong to God even in the period of waiting...

    And oh, about his being handsome and the cuteness disappearing from your eyes.lols.
    My pastor said that when you pray for God's will(when you know God's will), a man that you used to die for just becomes like your brother in christ.
    The scale falls from our eyes when we follow God indeed.

    Much love sis.
    Again, thanks for sharing this.

    1. You're welcome Frances! Thanks for reading.

  7. This is good. I always feel like this when I start talking to a guy. I look out for his level of spirituality and intellectual character. I refuse to settle in Jesus name.


    1. Our love for God and knowing we are Royalty will not allow us to settle in Jesus Name. Thanks Beautiful Beloved!


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